I don't even know where to begin...

** PRIVATE ENTRY **

Worst day of my life. I don't even know how to process it. I never thought it could happen to me. I report on crime, I'm not a victim of it...

But it did happen.

Last night, someone broke into my apartment, drugged me and kidnapped me...

Not that I can remember any of that, I'm just piecing that part together from the circumstantial evidence. I just woke up in a hospital bed, with needle marks in my arms, locked in a room with six strangers. I've never been so scared in my entire life, not even when I witnessed that shootout on Colorado Street. As soon as I saw that door open, all I could do was run.

Then that guy came after me in his car! I was seriously going to hit him with a pipe. If that rabid deer hadn't attacked him, I don't know what would've happened. And it's the weirdest thing, I can't shake the sense that I had something to do with that. Deer don't just charge people, they're fucking deer. The way it looked at me...

I can't believe I had the strength to pull that guy out of the car, I guess it's true about the power of adrenaline. I also don't know where I found the cojones to drive back to the school after I called 911. It was fucking stupid of me. Rule #1 is "don't be a hero, leave it to the professionals". It was just dumb luck that the others had already managed to subdue that Dale creep.

The weirdness didn't stop when the police showed up, either. I saw a crazed squirrel attack a police officer. He had to shoot it to get it off. And again, I can't shake the feeling that I had something to do with it. Did they do something to me while I was unconscious? Experiments? Drugs?

The kidnappers told my boss I was getting sent to rehab for drug addiction. It's like they tapped into my worst nightmare. I'm fighting a scandal and it isn't even mine. I don't know how I'm going to get my job back. More importantly, I don't know how I'm going to get my reputation back. I tried to work the media, but I know how effective that is. The public prefers to believe a scandal, it's more exciting.

The hospital said I was clean, but there are things you can't test for, things that wouldn't show up. I can't think of any other explanation. I mean, that thing with the bird? "Three times is conspiracy." I cannot deny that I had an effect on that bird. There's no way that was a coincidence.

Maybe I have been doing drugs and I can't remember. Or I'm losing it, going crazy. Maybe I have a multiple personality that does things while I'm asleep. This just doesn't seem real. Things like this don't happen to me, I'm Tallahassee Jones. I keep expecting I'm just going to wake up and this will all have been a dream.

I went to bed last night normal, happy, employed and my whole world changed overnight.

I am going to find the fuckers that did this and I am going to make them pay.